Moms In Common shared this story today on Facebook, and I wanted to share it here too. I too have often seen the similarities between the sisterhood I share with my Delta Zeta sisters and my Special Needs Sisters...this story sums up what life is like when you are a Mom to a child with special needs and the friends you meet along the way.
Many
of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out
every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in
grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are
well-worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring
experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are
compassionate beyond the expectations of this world.
You're
my "sisters." Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A
very elite sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we
were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately,
some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse
membership, but to no avail. We were initiated in neurologist's offices
and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms and during
ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls,
consultations, evaluations and blood tests. All of us have one thing in
common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given
birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our
toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened
in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or
months, our entire lives changes. Something wasn't quite right. Then we
found ourselves mothers of children with special needs. We are united,
we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs.
Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk. Some eat through
feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate
against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our
child's. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk
in our shoes. We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with
whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the
field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs,
"the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know
"the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while
our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could
become board certified in neurology, endocrinology and psychiatry. We
have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our
children need to survive, and to flourish. We have learned to deal with
the rest of the world, even if it means walking away from it. We have
tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth
while discipline was advocated by the person behind us in line. We have
tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning
strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs
complaining about chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that
many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our
sorority, and don't even want to try. We have our own personal copies
of Emily Perl Kingdsley's "A trip to Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The
Special Mother". We keep them by our bedside and read and re read them
during our toughest hours. We have coped with holidays. We have found
ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front
door on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form
words, "trick or treat". We have accepted that our children with
sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have
painted a canvas of lights and a blazing Yule log with our words for
our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have
bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have
tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family. We've
gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make
it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we
did it. We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red
wine in Italy. We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has
required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited
the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left the airport without
most of the things we needed for the trip. But we, sisters, we keep the
faith always. We never stop believing. Our love for our special children
and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds.
We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We
visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting
vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their
angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared
with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert
hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never
stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this
world. But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do,
is hold tight to their little hands and together, we special mothers and
our special children, reach for the stars. ♥ Author Unknown
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