This is me...

I have never been great at taking a compliment, and I can't help but feel like a fraud sometimes. I do not consider myself "special" or "courageous" or "strong"...I am simply me. I have a husband, two children, awesome parents, a supportive family, amazing friends, a home, a part-time job, bills, and a very tight budget. I am not that different from most of my friends, I just live my life at a much different pace. I am a better mother, wife, daughter, and friend than I was 2 years ago...that does not make me better than you or anyone else for that matter. My son only listens to me half the time, but hears that I love him ever day. My daughter will get away with everything because she has a smile and laugh that throws all rules out the window. I fight with my husband, but I appreciate everything he does for me and our family. I hate working at night, but welcome the mental health break and adult conversation. I worry too much about insignificant things and not enough about important things. I talk to myself sometimes because I may just be the only one who understands what I'm going through that day. I welcome other people's drama into my life because it makes me feel "normal". I rewrite the past in my head, only in the hopes that I will still end up where I am today (minus a few embarrassing moments though). I am a people pleaser, so my bark is definitely worse than my bite. I still wonder what I am going to do with my life. The gray in my hair confirms that I am old enough to complain, but I feel too young to accept that my life is completely written. I do not go to church every Sunday because there are some Sundays that I just can't get myself there on time. I love God and everything that He has blessed me with, even the hard to understand gifts that make sense well after they are received. I have unanswered prayers, but I like to think that they are just on hold. I have no idea how to plan for the future, but I think about tomorrow and next week and hope that is enough for right now. I don't know everything and I probably never will. I have a child with special needs, but don't feel sorry for me or her, we are doing just fine.